Internal Family Systems Therapy (known as IFS) is a transformative approach to psychotherapy developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz in the 1980s. It is based on the idea that we, all of us, have many different sides or ‘Parts’ of our personality. We might have a confident, sociable part but also a part of us that can feel some insecurity or want to be on our own at times.
IFS Therapy allows us to get to meet, know and understand the different parts of ourselves – sometimes each holding differing beliefs, perspectives, feelings. In IFS we view these parts like characters, often interacting, with alliances or opposing one another much like any family system. So, for example, you might have a part of you that wants to make a change in your life but another part of you seems to procrastinate or sabotages you in some way. This might be an example of a classic polarity of parts – each side of you going for their own agenda. This kind of polarity is often at play when we find ourselves conflicted or stuck in our lives.
These different sides of our personality can have their origins in our history – the experiences we’ve gone through that have shaped us or that have come about from messages we received about how to be or behave . We may also become aware that certain beliefs or ways of being in the world may have been passed on through our parents or ancestors – influencing our thoughts, behaviours or feelings – for example, “boys don’t cry”, “be caring and do the right thing”; “don’t express your feelings”, ”relationships never work, divorce is inevitable”…
The core idea in IFS is that everyone has a Self, sort of like a centred Chairperson of our Psyche. An aspect of ourselves which has always been there even if we have been unaware of it. We know we have more ‘Self-energy’ available to us through the access to certain qualities such as Compassion, Clarity, Calmness, Curiosity or Creativity amongst others. We can feel we have Choice, that we are Grounded…
The goal of therapy is to help individuals to be able to connect more with their ‘Self-energy’ and to have increased self-knowledge and harmony among their various internal parts and to bring more compassion and understanding for why we are – react, feel, behave – as we are…. All those various sides of our Personality, each with their own belief and purpose… It is an approach that allows for us to have more insight and learn to love and accept all our parts and us as a whole perfectly imperfect human being – as they say, “there are no bad parts”…
IFS brings curiosity to all the different parts of ourselves; healing the tender or wounded parts and restoring mental balance and harmony. By learning about these parts and providing the attention they need, you can experience more of what Dr. Richard Schwartz, the founder of IFS, calls the 8 C’s of Self leadership: Calm, Curiosity, Clarity, Compassion, Confidence, Courage, Creativity and Connectedness.
IFS emphasises that all parts of the system, even the parts of us that we judge or deem problematic, are all motivated by a desire to protect the person in some way, albeit out of date or no longer helpful…. The ultimate aim of therapy is not to eliminate these parts but to make sense of them and to help them work together in a balanced way in the client’s inner system; Healing through compassion and to extract the qualities of our parts and allowing ourselves to be Self-Led in our choices, behaviour and relationships.
These parts typically fall into three categories:
Exiles: Given we have all received too much or not enough or certain qualities that we might have needed as children; and most of us have experienced being unseen, rejected, abandoned, humiliated, called names or experienced traumatic events in our past. These painful experiences are typically pushed away or suppressed because the emotions can feel so painful or overwhelming to experience.
Managers: Are proactive parts of our personality that help us do life and help us to cope in the world. Manager parts work to keep us safe by protecting the individual from the pain of the Exiles by maintaining control, managing day-to-day life, and preventing situations that might trigger emotional distress. So, for example, we might have Manager parts that are great at Planning, Ambitious and Driven, Perfectionistic or even Critical. These are all Manager Protectors that are playing a role for us – helping to stop us feeling some kind of experience that we have had in our past….
Firefighters: When the Exiles’ pain becomes overwhelming, the Firefighter Protector parts can intervene, often through more reactive, impulsive or destructive behaviours (e.g., addiction, overeating, dissociation) to numb or distract from the emotional turmoil.
How IFS Therapy Works
Identifying and Mapping Parts: The therapist helps the individual identify their various parts, typically by encouraging them to notice emotions, thoughts, and behaviours in response to different situations. These parts are then “mapped” out, with the person gaining a better understanding of the roles each part plays.
Accessing the Self: The therapist helps the client access their Self, which is characterised by qualities like calmness, curiosity, and compassion. The Self is seen as the natural leader of the internal system, and the process involves inviting the Self to engage with the parts.
Building Relationships with Parts: Rather than pushing parts away or trying to eliminate them, IFS therapy encourages building a relationship with them. The Self is encouraged to approach each part with understanding, compassion, and curiosity, learning about its needs and motivations.
Healing and Integration: When a part is heard and understood, it can begin to heal. For example, an exile part that holds trauma may begin to release its burden when it feels safe and understood. The manager and firefighter parts can also be helped to take on healthier roles, reducing their control or extreme reactions.
Reorganisation of the Internal System: As healing occurs, the system of parts becomes more harmonious. The Self takes on a more central leadership role, guiding the parts toward healthier interactions and behaviours. The person becomes more in tune with their inner world and able to respond to challenges in a balanced way.
Benefits of IFS Therapy
- Emotional healing: IFS can help individuals process and heal from past trauma by accessing and working with the parts that hold painful memories.
- Improved self-awareness: Clients gain a deeper understanding of their inner workings, which can improve decision-making and reduce self-blame.
- Better emotional regulation: By understanding and transforming the roles of different parts, individuals may learn healthier ways to cope with emotional distress.
- Greater integration: IFS helps people feel more whole and integrated, rather than fragmented or conflicted.
IFS therapy is a flexible and non-pathologising approach, and it has been found to be effective for various issues, including trauma, anxiety, depression, and relationship difficulties. The process is collaborative, with the therapist acting as a guide to help the person engage with and heal their internal system.
