The paradox of human relationships is that the security and comfort that comes from being together also can breed ‘familiarity and contempt’ which in turn can sour any relationship.
In the beginning there was a coming together – you saw things in each other that you liked, respected or fell in love with. Maybe in those early days you were mostly aware of your similarities and the things that connected you to your partner. As time goes on and you separate out a bit more from that delicious merged state, you might hit phases of disillusionment – feeling disappointed or betrayed by your partner and who you thought they were. In this place maybe all you can see are your differences…
Maybe you are not sure how you fit together anymore; maybe the stresses of everyday life, parenting, personality differences or extended family issues have put such a huge strain on your relationship that you can feel stuck, angry, resentful, let down or hurt…. Maybe you are contemplating separating, having an affair, or feel you’re the only one fighting for your partnership…
There are many stages in a relationship and sometimes people find themselves growing apart or coming up against the same frustrations and arguments. Sometimes, it can be life pressures – money, step-children, parenting issues or just difference… . It can feel like a minefield, where you are both triggering each other in a never-ending cycle of disappointment and hurt. It can be a painful, lonely and frustrating experience being in one of those difficult places where you lose sight of how you came to be together in the first place… when you feel you’ve lost that connection you once may have had and you can both find yourself questioning if you have a future together…
In Couples counselling you have the opportunity to look again at your relationship and what’s happening for you both with new eyes.
Maybe you are questioning your relationship after an affair, a rupture that may feel irreparable… In counselling there is a safe space for you both to explore your story – what brought you together as a couple; what drives you apart now but also what still connects you. To look together at what is going on in the relational space between you; the energies and qualities you are both bringing and why….
Together you can begin to talk and listen with each other again and to see if it is possible to find a radical new way of communicating and connecting with respect and understanding, to transform and co-create your relationship into something new or it may be more about finding a way to let go and move forwards having a conscious ending with respect and care….
